PES 2017 demo is out next week on every platform except PC. So, if you’re a regular second-class PC gamer, what is there to do while everyone else plays it?

1. Try talking to your wife.

Use those three weeks between the demo and the full game and talk to her a little. Ask her how’s she been doing since you’ve started playing PES, are there any news you should know about, is she pregnant, are her parents still alive…

2. Teach your child your name.

Instead of referring to you as the ‘guy in the corner who swears’, your child has the right to know what is your name, as given to you by your parents. After all, you’re the one that probably made it. Your child, I mean.

3. If you don’t have a wife, try finding one. Time is of the essence.

You only have three weeks to go out and meet a girl and forc… make her want to marry you so you can live your life in a regular monogamic family where you’ll have someone to bring you stuff while you play PES. This will mean you have to go out and talk to girls. I know it can be scary, but don’t be afraid. If you try this 100 times, pure statistics tells us you’ll be successfull at least one time.  You don’t have to worry much about her looks; you’ll obviously be looking more at how Konami made Messi’s new haircut or Pogba’s upper lip.

4. Read a book or two.

Let’s be serious for a moment. This is a thing that most people has forgotten how to do. Books are, in my opinion, one of the TOP 10 things in life. Your vocabulary will be much richer (whether you’re writing or talking). Books are a source of enormous knowledge, but also a thing that will excite your imagination if you read the right one. Nazis didn’t burn them for no reason. Man who doesn’t know much is a man easily manipulated. Also, if you read in a language that’s not your  mother tongue, you will learn so much of it. I’d never write this blog if I didn’t read books in English.

5. Go away for a weekend.

Take your girl for a nice weekend somewhere if you can afford it. Or go with your friends. Break the monotony of everyday life. You can enjoy the nature, take a long hike. Or you can go to the pub, get drunk and sing Irish drinking songs. Whatever suits you.

And then the 13th/15th of September comes…